Friday rain out

This morning the alarm goes off at 5:30 am and YEAH... it's raining.. so I crawled back into the warm bed for what was supposed to be a short snooze, oops, instead woke up couple hours later and than the scramble to get to work quickly. Mission accomplished and after an acceptable 6 hours headed out the door to run errands, and than Greg and I went to a movie, dinner and a run to Lowes.. Was mostly cloudy today with some sunshine afterall. On the way home tonight, we saw many churches with massive crowds for there Harvest festivals and the little tricker treaters.

I have a couple days worth of homework for Beth Moore study tomorrow that I need to get at... so goodnight.

blog setup for dummies

Anyone have some "easy steps" for dummies as to how to setup my front page adding like "the other blogs that I read" links? and any other tidbits for adding things. much appreciated.

Foggy walking

Didn't need the alarm to get up this morning to walk at 5:40am.. a couple of people in the house were already up and moving around long before that to start their day, so I just got up too. Over the last week there have been some pretty foggy days and it's usually when it's my turn to do the commuting to Virginia's house. But on the way home, with the sun just starting to "glow" through the eastern horizon, it gave the sky a "blue light" kind of shimmer which just looked beautiful for the brief time it was in the sky trying to bust through the damp air.

alright, enough reflecting, time to get ready for work... yea!

movie recommendations

I highly recommend the new release movie "the secret life of bees". It's really a chick flick I thought, not much that would captivate the testosterone sector, unless they want to impress you. Apparantly this has been a book.........

I love football and so the movie "Express" was a good one, you'd most likely have to rent this one by now. based on a true story.

"Fireproof" was another good movie - with a powerful message whether you are a husband/wife, mother/daughter, father/son.. there's redemption for all of us no matter whether the broken relationship is with the Lord or with family/friend. Sometimes both at once.

Tired Tuesday

Greg was gone overnight on a project in Ventura, and so I went to bed at a decent hour with the intention of doing some reading after finishing one show I had started downstairs. It's called Intervention... it is a show that can sometimes be predictable or very compelling. The first show ended and than on comes another of them and I didn't shut it off... It was about a young woman who had been a gifted and academic wiz, goes to Boston College for a double major in music and pre med. In her junior year her boyfriend introduces her to "huffing" and she becomes another person for many years. She just managed to scrape by in college only getting the music degree. And so they get her to agree to do a documentary on Addiction even though she has no idea that an intervention will be at some point occuring. But to watch this woman put this aerosol can sprayer into her mouth and squeeze the trigger was extremely difficult over the course of the hour long show, but I'm hooked because they don't always turn out victorious. It was shocking, she huffs 10-12 cans of computer duster a day, and it was just unreal the depth of the commitment she had to doing this in order to have a high that lasts only a few minutes. If you don't die from this, you bounce in and out of sobriety quickly as it only lasts 5 minutes. The best result you get is a brain numbness for the escape you desire, slurred speech, and disoriented lack of balance. Her life had tragedy involved at a young age, and a father who abandoned her. The lengths that her family went to over the years to save her, and even had her close to rock bottom by cutting off support and than she finds a sugar daddy to fund her by having her do some dispicable things for the cash...
The story ends with her fighting the intervention, but her family took action and called SPCA to take away her cats, called the sugar daddy and told him that if he didn't get rid of the apartment and stop contacting her immediately, they'd call his wife.. she hit rock bottom fast and did end up in a treatment center, and is now clean and sober... It took her about 8 months to clean up and get on stable ground emotionally and looked so much better. Whew, that show was filled with heartbreak, and was exhausting, ending late into the night... No wonder I didn't sleep well!

Saturday busyness

Last night ended late and the alarm set to go off 5:45am, I beat it by getting up at 4:30 just because the dream I was in, was stranger than fiction and it is still baffling me as to WHY was I dreaming that scenario anyway.... and that I remember the details.. bizarre.. So I got up and worked on putting together a handout for a bible study that I facilitate on saturday mornings. The broadcast was of Susie Larson - author of "the uncommon woman" which I heard on a Family Life Today radio broadcast over two days this week.. alot of truth and perserverance lessons in it for Godly living in crazyiness of today.. If your interested in it, send me an email and I will forward it to you. lorindasue62@msn.com

Saturday mornings look like this; I go to an accountability group with friends at 7am-? and are currently doing Beth Moore VHS (1970's) "A Womens Heart" on the tabernacles-powerful stuff, and than I head quickly to ERC and lead a womens study 9-11ish, we are doing Beth Moore DVD's "Living Beyond Yourself" on the fruit of the spirit.. another very powerful teaching. The first one with friends in the morning is new study for us and for my growth. The second group is a study for women in our Alpha program where for many it is a whole new experience and some they are lifers in the church and christian upbringing and are JUST getting it that God is real-we are in week 2. I co-lead this with a friend Susan and so she is really the "hard worker" in pulling all the details together, I show up (late usually trying to pull myself away from the first encounter of the day)... Being that I have gone through this one about 4 times, and so it is also one that I grow in just "re hearing" Gods truth reminded. And the more times I hear it, IT'S STARTING TO STICK IN MY ability to recall as she works through the topic of the day and where the scripture is that she will use or what it says.. Thick skull, it takes a while, but that is my new resolve to learn scripture more committed to memory for recall other than the response of "I've heard it before and know it's somewhere in the bible"!! ah, the light bulb goes on!

Today I stepped into an opportunity; one of the ladies in our thursday Alpha small group discussion, had kind of a break through on Thursday nights topic of "healing" as God is revealing some stuff to her, about Him and about herself. So I called her Friday and invited her to go to lunch with me after our Saturday study (she's also attending).. she accepted gladly.. Now she is a 74 year old, outgoing, spunky woman who has been widowed several years and probably doing her first study ever. Saying she is overwhelmed is an understatement. She came in this morning and just says "I just don't have the feeling about Beth that you ladies have, but I want it" so I encouraged her to not take notes on the fill in the blank sheet, we'd give her the answers but to just stay focused on Beth's teaching (no distractions) and perhaps listen for ONE statement or a word that might speak to her. When it was over, She is weeping with joy that everything Beth had said was as though she was speaking directly to HER. I think at 74, no multitasking needed, because she stayed focused rather than keeping up with filling in the blanks and losing track of the teaching. So this was what led into her and I having lunch and some good conversation. At 74 years of age, she's for the first time feeling that she is learning what she has never heard before or grasped in the realness of GOD as more than a religion of legalism but to have a relationship with. I also don't just nod and agree, I press and prod and ask specific questions based on what she has stated. (she's never had that before) so she revealed just a touch of what has been her own secret or guilt, and is ready to let more of it go that is holding her back.. Now I wasn't really fishing for being her mentor, but I offered to help find her a one on one mentoring relationship with someone to walk with for whatever period of time... and she said that she wouldn't feel comfortable with anyone but me..!!!!!!! so I just breathed easily and thoughtfully for a second and said okay... I can do that BUT we needed to have some ground rules (oops I was going to set them) 1. This relationship was going to be about growth in Christ, digging into learning, honesty, sharing what was being stirred up, asking questions and that she understood I'M NOT AN EXPERT, but that I would help her find answers whether it was something I've learned or I had to get back to her on it cause I would have to ask someone else. Her response was YES. 2. the best way for it to be consistent was that she was committing to attending for the next 9months or so to the Saturday morning study with us, and that we would get together after these studies if she had questions, situations to talk through, whatever, but whether we only meet at the church, go for coffee perhaps or on occasion a lunch.. Keeping it focused but low key expectations of the other on time and be flexible. See what unfolds. She said YES.. God is good.

Whew! I'm peaceful with this, kind of feeling while I was thinking this was a ministry direction I was heading, wasn't so sure I was ready to do it just yet.. but Luke 12:12 and the holy spirit will give you the words to speak....

my guy with his gloves off

Be forewarned You might not like this: At last, John McCain took the gloves off (ever so slowly and with the utmost of care not to punch to hard) but gloves off none the less and exposed the deepest foundation of the opponent Barack Obama who will be known as BHO. Sarah Palin on the other hand is apparantly my kind of gal, and no PC about her.... While John is not the most ideal of true blue Republicans as a conservative, he does have a passion for this country and far more integrity than his "opponent" could dream of. He served his country with his hard line during his captivity to not take any special favors to be sent home early, he has fought hard in his political service that it is the government of the people, by the people and for the people. You can't fault him for that in the responsible way he has carried himself fighting for his people of Arizona, and I trust him with my future security for America. His ability to place conservative, pro life Supreme Court Judges will be his legacy that will go on for many decades ahead of us. He won me over starting with his debate on Rick Warren and the answers to his questions. While BHO had the fervor there for awhile of a rock star like we might have seen with the arrival of the beatles from across the pond in the past, he's lost his shine thankfully. The media is not where I get my information and truely can't stomach mainstream news, and have been in rehab from it for the last year and feel like a cleansing has occurred!

Here are my concerns as to character of BHO; leading point; sadly, he was the main proponent to the legislation in IL, where when a botched abortion occurs, the doctor can terminate the life upon delivery regardless of any chance to save the child.. This is about as far as you can take euthanasia, but than again, once that's acceptable (and it is in IL already), those of us with chronic disease, the senior citizens in nursing homes, disabled americans with a hopeless outcome should be concerned - you might be next on someones legislation to cut health care costs by eliminating our care... exposed: is it more than a coincidence that BHO has for the last 20 years (just beyond high school) in using his own words, had as a pastor and a mentor Rev Wright who spews hatred, bigotry and treasonist statements and uses the Lords name in vain. Rev Wright preached at him, married him, baptized his girls... isn't this a big influence and to only stop associating yourself with him after the media exposed it briefly? My pastor has been influencial in my life when this person is that to me..... Is it just a coincidence that he took the oath of office in the living room of Ayers who was a radical who speaks out against America, wishes after 9/11 that he had done more bombings? it goes on and on as to who he's said he admires Hugo Chavez from Venezuela who hates America! BHO worked for ACORN for his community organizing and contributed as a lawyer later in his career on there behalf and than got them government funding as a Senator? And they are now under investigation for voter fraud in 12 states? Scary is that many in his campaign who might get cabinet seats, have been heavily involved in the financial instituitions who had to be bailed out, and yet they received 100's of millions of dollars, and Obama received campaign donations from them and voted for things that were in there favor. No investigation?

NOTE TO GOV'T IN GENERAL: My household budget has to be responsible and since I'm the only one who can earn what I spend, spending has to be cut first, and that is what I expect John McCain to do for me and not Obama with his tax and spend plans and spreading the wealth of socialism mentality.

Glad to say he has been showing some fighting spirit this last week as well.

Epidural day

Ahhh.. with this Fall of not having any of our kids in a school where they play sports, it has left well LOTS OF TIME TO BE FREE! And yet I have just seemingly filled it with seeing medical doctors, having lab work done, going back to see the doc for the results... So this week I finally got into the ENT after purging my body of "ibuprofen" like products for a couple of weeks and having headaches like never before since than. Guess I really was using them alot... so anyway, the wart like thing in the back of the nostril was taken out, and stitched closed - which is painful for a couple of days! And this afternoon I was moved up in the schedule for the surgery center in Los Alamitos and Dr Mikhail did the epidural for the herniated disc's and it was fast - in and out in about 55 minutes... Shane was glad, as he only had time to run the errands to Target and get back to pick me up. So I'm feeling really good, better than expected.. and will have to wait a few days to decide if "it worked"... optimism - optimism - optimism. While I'm supposed to ice and not drive for 24 hours, tonight is Alpha and I'm not missing that.... ahhhh "Shane, what are you doing tonight"

prayer request for surgery process

As many of you know, I have been in a battle with a cyst in the left foot for two years that brings about pain with; very much standing, long stretch of walking, stepping odd angles, uneven surfaces, sudden change of direction, climbing stairs, rotation of ankle. I've had two arthroscopic surgeries that did not have success (37% failure rate) and so the following procedure had been decided on and as a last resort it was planned for Nov 17. Cartilage cells were removed from knee at the time of the last ankle surgery in March and are in Texas facility waiting insurance approval to be cultured (2 week time frame).

Today a letter came from my ankle surgeon Dr. Richard Ferkel, kind of a standard letter to explain what/why might be the "delay" in the surgery date originally planned for Nov. 17 to remove the cyst from the Talus Dome in my foot. I have been determined to be a candidate for the "Autologous Chondrocyte Implantation (ACI) of Carticel (cultured Chondrocytes) into the ankle. Carticel is frequently implanted into the ankle in other countries, it has not been done with a tremendous frequency in the United States. This is partially due to the elongated process the FDA takes to approve products for particular services. Carticel is FDA approved for implantation into the knee, but not into the ankle. Therefore insurance companies consider this service experimental. This doctor has had success in overturning the experimental ruling with some carriers along with the lack of any viable solutions for my problem and has done this procedure numerous times. They are working hard on my behalf to resolve this positively.

So I am asking those who have received this to please pray on my behalf this; that the letter drafted and submitted to the Aetna Insurance Transplant dept, will be approved the first time when they receive it and the surgery can be performed before the end of this fiscal year 2008 as planned. The cost of this surgery is quite high, and that I have met my out of pocket maximum for the year is best scenario for us financially, the financial implications of a delay or rejection of insurance benefits would be a big blow. The letter was dictated yesterday hopefully, and so should be sent soon to Aetna whether by mail or Fax...... grateful thanks

epidural scheduled

The epidural is now scheduled for this Thursday 3pm as they had a cancellation after they originally put me on the schedule in two weeks. two weeks of headaches, I would have been unable to live with by then. so hoping for great relief on the first try with this treatment of herniated discs.

Today I made tons of phone calls, checking insurance coverage with the Carticel Care company in TX who has possesion of my cartilage cells extracted in March for the transplant surgery. I asked some questions about how long it takes to start the culturing procedure and get the cells back to CA upon insurance approval (insurance approval is holding up the start) and he assured me that anywhere from 2-4 weeks but 6 at the longest... so the delay we are expecting might not be as long from the Nov17th date.. but since my insurance through the end of the year is 100%, getting it done with this in mind is important - just the cartilage procedure alone is $30,000. So I than shifted gears and called the surgeons insurance billing and asked him to check all of the "middle men" issues and assure me whether they are in or out of network providers (carticel, cadaver bone, 2day hospital stay) so that I know if I'm going to have any financial debt from this.. his answer was "no" all are in network providers.. so for today I am breathing a sigh of relief...

Monday musings

This weekend I've been laid out with a sore upper back from two herniated discs that are getting worse and the stiff neck and headaches were brutal, and still today it kept me home from work to do more of the same, heating pad, sitting on couch... and I finally gave in to taking pain meds prescribed for the back for my head... very little help. I'm waiting for a Pain Medicine office to get it together with insurance approval/scheduling an epidural.. after this weekend I called and got the run around as to "why" it's stalled and than called orthopedic and sicked the dr. assistant on them, so I'm not a patient bureaucracy type of person.. These dormant herniations were aggravated when recovering from ankle surgery and crawling on my butt up and down the stairs for 6 weeks at a time...

If I'm supposed to be learning patience because of needing it... chronic pain doesn't help.

Brian brought home his "new" dirt bike tonight and so he's gone showing it to the girlfriend before he unloads it (into the cleaned up garage)

Greg and Shane left to pick Ashley up from the airport, this weekend she competed in the Leukemia and Lymphoma Cancer run in San Francisco. We were very proud of her involvement in this. She ran the 1/2 marathon (13.1 miles). Which is an awesome time considering the terrain of that city and that she wasn't able to do the type of training she had wanted, but her hotel roommates had done all the training events and only beat her by 4 minutes to the finish line! She is very sore, but glad that it went well. It's not to late to support her with a donation!! mail it to her at our home address before Nov.10 Ashley's official time in the 1/2 marathon was 2:50.02 and she placed 6315th. Greg said he read that there were 20,000 entries that weekend participating in the marathon.... Isn't that terrific - and believe me she is now SORE! But for a great cause...

Garage Re-organized

okay, there is that ever present drag of a job it's called "cleaning the garage" which is avoided as though it is an announced plague going through the region... But than again, when a certain one of your kids wants/needs to make room for his just received dirt bike.. he's motivated to find the room to store it and well, I/we are the recipient of a organized and cleaned out garage... it is presently going on and husband just went out to "oversee" and the comment coming from the younguns in the north 40 of the yard is that it is now taking longer because reasoning has entered the organization that was in process! ha ha ha ha ha ha I will just remain here and stay far away from the action.. But when I went out there to "peek", it was just beautiful and I didn't have to lift a finger!

oh, what to be when I grow up...

Okay, so this summer in my moments of utter discontent with the drudgery of a job that has great benefits, but insanity for mental stimulus. (yes it just suddenly bothers me).. I asked one of our pastors I work under in Alpha how do you know what your called in life to do? and his response, "Great question, I'm going to do a seminar in late Sept or Oct on just that subject and I'll get back to you on the date" of course I had hoped for the quick for dummies response. Well, this weekend was the inugural seminar with 25 people and it was a productive Sat/Sun of 7 hours of probing, reflecting, putting together a timeline, and than answering questions based on homework we had done before coming... It confirmed what I am feeling led to do, but will continue to work at UPS as I have for 27 years keeping my benefits, and just start by taking class(es) that would be educational for my interest and than see where the Lord leads me at time goes along. Alpha has been where the passion has been ignited, and will be where I stay for now..... more later as it unfolds.