The Deans list is out..

Ashley just received the notification in the mail that she made the APU Deans List for the Fall of 2008 for those with a 3.5 or above GPA.. so kudos Ashley and great work with the heavy case load... all the while working FULLTIME at Disneyland..

We're very proud of how hard she worked over all 6 years and so these are the icing on the cake recognitions that can't be taken away from you.

She just recently turned in her last case study until grad school for her clinical rotation in the Cardiac Care ICU. The highest score possible is 25 points.. Her patient had 9 individual ailments going on and she wasn't sure she was going to be able to pull off a good quality grade.. She received the highest grade EVER given by this teacher with a 24.5 ~!!! Her friend received a 24.. The case study was 60 pages of individual information on the patient and 100 pages of supporting data, journal writings, and articles. The teacher took many of her notes out of her case study to keep because she was impressed with what she had found.. Way to go squirt!

If asking Ashley how many days til graduation.. on any given day she can tell you.. today it is 44

Monday spur of the moment...

Next week is Shanes spring break and we had talked about going back up to Mammoth for what was for a lot of years, spring break tradition for snow boarding/skiing for our family. Brian and Ashley can't go this time. So last night I spent quite a bit of time searching for places to stay in Mammoth to stay while we were thinking of going next week for four days. By the end of the night, I had taken the phone number and was just going to CALL and speak to someone in the morning. We've used them before and maybe they have data on us that would help narrow down where I really wanted to stay verses my lack of memory.

Sunday night Shane comes home from work and his answer to whether he still wanted to go to Mammoth was.. well.. "I had kind of talked with cousin Chad that since I will have so much free time, that I'd do some ride alongs with his station". Well, that takes care of that.. Will decide later about where we might go "alone"....

Today is my grandma Cooks 85th birthday in MN and I called her around 8:15 am when she would be in her room before going to the dining room for midday "dinner". She has been in the Edgerton Edgebrook Care Center for a few years, after living with my parents for a few years in CA. It's been a couple of years since we were there to visit her in July 2007 in a year when we were in MN three time in 11 months, and I've talked to her as often as I can. We talked for about 15 minutes, she had people in to the home on Sunday for cake and a party. She asked if I knew how old she is, and of course I did, but when I told her 85, she informed me she was 100..... wow, not sure why she chose to increase her age by 15 years (I wouldn't), but when she was 83 she would tell us she was 87, so she's sticking with the higher numbers.. My parents have been there for a couple of weeks. So she asked me a couple of times if my folks made it home okay.. so I assured her that they were going to be there after noon dinner to see her that they haven't left yet. And they did and she told them I called. She is suffering from frail health and dementia that is taking it's toll on her in many ways. After I hung up, it just kind of stuck with me that I should just go and visit her for two days or so. I had vacation scheduled anyway..

So I called Greg and shared my thought, he agreed that I had the time off and for what we would have spent in Mammoth. He said while he had about six things going on at the time, he would definitely look into it soon. And he did the online search and called me a few hours later, so I'm setup for Saturday early departure and Friday night return. I will drive to my inlaws and stay a couple of nights, and than on Monday go to Edgerton for couple of days plus and than see some other relatives in the area and head back to inlaws for a night. That's the tentative plan..

Saturday's thoughts

1) I was only in attendance for our womens study for a short time today before leaving for a funeral. We usually start by discussing anything from the weeks homework if they did it that struck them personally, or they wanted to talk about. One of the women just really opened up about how she has come to the place she is now in life from where she was in the thick of struggling.. It is just a wonder to hear how there are so many parts of our lives we don't notice at the time that God is orchestrating for our good while we are in the midst of the storm raging..... It often gets missed. And yet to hear her now in a place of healing and being restored for the "more" that God intended her life to be about. No longer on the detour we took however long ago it happened. As we meet with each other weekly, this is what God designed us to be, in relationship with others to either spur them on or to be the one who is getting spurred on. If you don't find yourself in a relationship throughout your life with other women, I encourage you to step out of your comfort zone and to initiate it by just asking someone. Or take those relationships you are in, to the depths of meaningful. The woman I spoke of at the top of the paragraph, happened to come up to me to thank me for some thing I had said a couple weeks earlier and I asked her if she had heard about the study we do on Saturdays... gave her a flyer and said "we'd love to have you" and she has shown up each week.. God is good.

2) At mid morning I attended the funeral of a woman Betty Jones, who I worked with at UPS probably for about 4 years together, meeting 2-4 years after I started there. She was a woman in her 50's who was just a beautiful woman inside and out. I was the edgy coworker and young mom... We shared an office after I spelled her while she was out for surgery leave. She loved her husband Charlie and her three growing kids dearly Janet, Julie and Jay. Charlie died in 1990 of a heart attack after many years of heart troubles.. She was heartbroken but carried on, and than she moved her assignment into another building and we lost track for the most part. There were the occasional lunch dates of UPS women, and she had a "big" birthday party that I attended. But what you walked away from in knowing Betty is that she was genuine, sincere, joyful and a friend for life. So today was indeed a celebration of the life she led, the family and friends that she cared deeply for. I loved how the pastor put it before he closed, she now is in the arms of her Lord and Savior and again holding her beloved husband Charlie and infant daughter Jen, and infant grandson Aaron, but that if Betty could come back for one minute and share one last thing with us it would be this about the week since she passed from this life..... "know Jesus as your savior because what I've seen in the last week is more amazing than I ever dreamed or imagined".

3) When I came home, Greg and Shane had done the yard work and the trimming of the birds of paradise along the driveway which were getting out of hand in width. The picture here is the azalea tree we planted about a year ago before Shanes graduation party. It started to really lay out the blooms a couple of weeks ago and is a great sign of the spring that is in the air. The third photo is of the Martha Washington geraniums... The plantars have all really taken off with the right mixture of sunshine and rainshowers to nurture there needs. I have about five gerber daisies still sitting in there pots that I have yet to plant somewhere one of these afternoons.

Friday's walk of denial...

Friday night during dinner at home, I asked Greg if we should go visit his uncle Pete who had been released from the hospital the week before and let's walk over there. He gives me a look of surprise and asks "are you sure your up to it"... I had been feeling pretty good and assumed that I have pain anyway, should just get some exercise regardless. Uncle Pete/Aunt Joyce's has been a regular stop on our walking route for a long time. It's been quite a few months since I've walked for exercise with the back flaring up. I decided against taking any pain meds before we left which was a drastic error in judgement that I was soon to discover and regret. So the walk to Uncle Petes was painful about 3 blocks into it, but I kept up the conversation about some funny stuff going on at work and just kept my mind vaguely off of the pain that was searing into my butt.. After a nice visit at their house and the subsiding of the pain with the rest.. it was time to leave. They offered to give us a ride home, but I'm too stubborn for that, and so off we headed at about 8:10.. Now the route we take is about 2.5 miles and takes about 40 minutes to walk the entire circle but we cut through and shaved off a 1/4 of a mile.. We got home at 9:00.. ugh and it was an intense amount to just keep the left leg moving and not to give up and sit on a block wall somewhere and call Ashley to come get us (cause she owed me). Oh believe me, I thought about doing it, but was stubborn enough to want to make it all the way home on my own and not take defeat (of my own mind). Greg was gracious and walked the crawling pace for the last 3/4 of a mile with the last 10 houses I had my arm in his leaning in and just breathing deeply to grunt through each painful step..

So my plans for re-starting the walking routine with Virginia on Monday morning at 6am is not going to be for me, cause that was just to painful to endure that on purpose. I headed upstairs directly and I fired up the heating pad to high and downed the max of the pain meds allowed and muscle relaxers and crawled into bed. I slept well that is for sure.. .

Student nurse view of ER from other side

All week Ashley has been "diagnosising" herself along with her bestie friends in nursing class... she has some pain in the groin, sore, and some other unmentionable stuff. Wednesday or Thursday morning I got a text message that said "I think I have an ovarian cyst", that's it and I'm wondering what I am supposed to do with that information.. so I respond "who is diagnosing you" and she gives me the answer I thought I'd get.. "Ashleigh, Brianna and I".... I text her back "as much as your friends are great, maybe DrRand would be a good second opinion just in case it's not" But of course he doesn't see patients on the Friday she doesn't have class.. At this point I've not seen her much this week so I have nothing to work with. But she had been telling me that if it still hurt next week, she'd go the dr.. Okay than. Thursday night while I'm at Alpha and she is just getting home from her 12 hr cardiac care clinical AT ST. JOSEPH HOSPITAL I get a text that "she needs to go to ER the pain is really bad".

uh, well, where is her dad exactly is what I am wondering since I'm a little bit occupied at the moment... so I text her back just as our small group is gathering that "I will be home in a half hour". Fortunately I had a small group of the women show and so we kind of finished up early (or quickly) and I headed home at 8:50pm. I walk in and ask her what are the symptoms, what is going on and she says it is so very painful, swollen etc.... So I told her, head to the car, I will be right out there. I head upstairs to change my contacts for glasses as this is not going to be a short night, and to grab a book.

I dropped her off at the entrance cause she would not have enjoyed the walk from a distance where I was probably going to have to park... Not long after she signed in a few of the throngs of people were being called to one triage or another.. It's amazing that some families come in tribes of 4-5 people.. Kids are crying and walking around in the lobby.. it resembled an old tv show I watched once upon a time.. Ashley gets called and she heads off to triage 2 and sit guarding her homework books, purse and my stuff and our seats! 1/2 hour later she is poking her head out with the IV tube in her arm, close to where I'm stationed and asking me to take her wallet and give her the cell phone so she can call me when the next thing happens which was the ultra sound test. Not long after a nurse comes out and calls my name, I for some reason point at myself and she says "yes" and so I gather up the "stuff" and follow her back to where Ashley is sitting in chair.. Ahhh they needed the "responsible payor" to let them know if we want to be billed or pay up front.. which is only reasonable, I was a rarity to actually give them money up front and they were willing to receive it! They start her on some pain meds, which seem to affect her in becoming hazy with minimal pain relief, so later they gave her something else and that worked much better.

So they offered me a seat to just stay back there with her, and Ashley said that it was okay. (don't want to crowd in when they are 24) One of the tech's in this area reminded me so much of Mike Gilman with a bald head and the beard and his happy go lucky personality... I don't know how long we waited for one thing or another, but it's a wait non-the-less.

There were two young girls sitting next to Ashley who appeared to be treated for nausea and were curled up in there chairs in a blanket. About as comfortable as it sounds. Ashley writes in her tablet, that "she has HIV"... Now they were young in age. One was pregnant and she has HIV and the other had had an abortion the week before and was cramping and bleeding still. Both instructed to go to the clinic in a week in the go home orders.. NO PRIVACY whatsoever if you needed any.

Ashley goes to ultrasound and soon returns.. and we wait........ her lab work comes back, slight bladder infection and the ultra sound shows a couple of lymph nodes were swollen.. heres your prescription for three days of antibiotic and a pain med if you need it.. I requested that they start now in giving her an antibiotic to get her started rather than waiting til the pharmacy opens and so they gave it to her.. they unhook her and away we go at 1:30 in the morning.. yawn..

note to self: bringing a book to an ER is useless, too noisy!

down for the count...

The diabetic saga has been a roller coaster these last few weeks, and today was a day I was thrown from the car and found myself sitting under the tracks, eventually conscious enough to lay in bed for awhile to sleep. This morning felt as though my blood sugar was just barely above zero, disoriented, confused for some time. After some OJ, I curled back into bed with my sweatshirt on, a heating pad, and two corn bags you microwave for heat... I was shivering and couldn't get warm, and so I slept for a few hours. Early this afternoon I've progressed to downstairs couch in sweat pants, sweatshirt with the hood up to camouflage the bad hair day.. and battling the high blood sugar affects for a short time, along with the achy body parts that come from the extreme low blood sugar. Just another day in the diabetic life when on the ropes.

The last few weeks with the injections which raise the blood sugar, and eating less to lower the blood sugar, has the body confused by what I've programmed into the pump based on blood sugar numbers and expectations. It's been a good concept to have the blood sugars below a hundred so regularly, but it's the ones that sink below 40-50 at odd times of the days are really annoying. And lately I've had many of them, so the pump needs some more tweaking..

The last few weeks of physical ailments of the back, ankle, diabetic ups and downs all crashing in at once have taken a toll on my soul.. So as I was at home today, I opened an email from Sheila Walsh who speaks with the Women of Faith. She was sharing that as they started there new season of conferences, Steven Curtis Chapman opened with a song just ten months after the death of his daughter in there driveway.

Blessed be your name
On the road marked with suffering
Though there's pain in the offering
Blessed be your name

You give and take away
You give and take away
My heart will choose to say
Lord, blessed be your name

These are very poignant words, we may walk through tough times, but because of HIS mercy, we are not consumed. We may fail him at times, but HIS compassion will never fail. Our faith may waver at times, but HIS faithfulness will never be moved.

This is what I will be clinging to in the tough days that come my way.

buckled down and it's in the mail...

okay so there has been an invisible clock ticking in my sub conconsious mind since the end of January when the last insurance denial letter came in the mail... something like the jingle from jeopardy where the contestants are "thinking" about there most important question to the answer that has been given for the big prize... do do do dododododo dododododo dodododododododo dodododo do do.. and than it's TIME..

Well, I have suddenly realized that while I don't know the "date" that time will stand still it is getting close - 60 days from the denial is received.. so Saturday fittingly, after standing on my feet for a long period of time baking and cutting up stuff for a casserole my ankle was extremely sore as it has not been for quite some time, cause, well, my ankle has an easy life of no stress now. And walking to the movie theatre that night was torture. I was now motivated.

As I had sat down after dinner, starting to write that dreaded appeal letter to the UPS Review Committee in Atlanta, GA who meets every Thursday. After the lack of favorable response from Aetna it was scary in just getting started. It was at first a jumble of ideas, and they were all over the place, referred so many times to the "HR idea sheet" of what to include and or explain, so this thought goes in and than it comes out, and than I changed the focus and back and forth I went for two days, just adding and subtracting.. Until today I just wanted to be done with it.. After a few consultations with my friend, and finishing the typing, I decided on whether version 1 the long one or version 2 shorter and precise is the winner and than printed it, signed it, stuck it into the envelope, addressed it and headed to the post office. Got the bar coded addition for a website that will assure me that it has been delivered to the address, which is all I will need to know.

And now the wait.... again, that jeopardy tune will start playing about Wednesday as I will hope Thursday "I" will get the floor with someone taking a special notice of the precise opening letter referring to my need to be active because of Type 1 diabetes, active lifestyle missing out on without mobility I have always enjoyed, and that we've done all the conventional and policy acceptable steps to no avail. That they will READ the stack of documents from the two surgeons and the two surgeries, the positive Autologious Chondrocyte Implantation studies, successful surgeries of ACI my guy has performed (30) in his career. Has everything been done, yes check and than I handed it to the USPS clerk and it's done.

And now it's out of my control... yep, just going through to the next place where they will either accept or reject the request.... God is still good and I will trust no matter what the answer......

God is so good....

Okay I can't sleep and so I'm just going to write;

I have come to know a woman "M" through my current alpha small group who has a substantially tall wall of bricks for self defense built up around her heart for protection. (she looks familiar somehow) EMOTIONS ARE NOT anything she expresses in public. She "M" has remained quiet for six weeks.. saying only one thing in response to anothers question and quite frankly it was pretty insightful, and I knew she had more to contribute. Somewhat from the very beginning week during our small group time M" gave me a serious stare down that made it clear to me that she wanted to have nothing to do with being drawn into any conversation or sharing.. I respected that.

Last weeks Alpha, topic was evil, and it is a night that I share my own testimony during the big group time of Gods grace, love, forgiveness, redemption and restoration. "M" cried, and than we showed the "everything" youtube video afterwards, and "M" cried. We get into small group and at some point we had someone in the center we needed praying over as we stood around her, and "M" stayed "way" back sitting in her chair and yet during the prayer, her arm reaches in to give them a tissue.. and than "M" pulls back. Afterward as we are moving toward the doorway to leave, I kind of just ask "what held you back from the circle" and "M" just shrugged tearfully without saying anything, and I asked "do you need some one on one coffee time" and before I finished this question "M" said YES.. alright, I will call you.

A couple of days later on Saturday of last week was the start of another round of our Beth Moore study with Alpha women who we invite to come along on a journey of stepping into fellowship with Gods word. It's a DVD series on the fruit of the Spirit "LIVING BEYOND YOURSELF". And I was surprised, "M" came... being the first week in, the other leader just opens it up for introductions, tell us your name, and what brings you on a Saturday morning when you can be doing any number of things? And it's not even "M's" turn yet and she is crying... Now I am just really so glad to see this because I KNOW that God is preparing her for something big, and when it comes her turn she just mutters "my life is falling apart".... throughout the morning, she laughs, she cries, and she's unable to speak... God is so good. I gave her a long hug afterwards and told her the tears were good stuff. We set it up that Wednesday we'd get together. And she leaves still dabbing kleenex to her eyes... whew!

Last night, Wednesday we met at a quiet restuarant for dinner after work. I didn't have any kind of agenda, but had really just came into this time having prayed for the holy spirit to just lead. I had three friends who were praying during this time frame for us. And it was a good night. She really opened up, very talkatve, about her numerous relatives, the dysfunction of relationships in her lifetime, fathers hurtful words that she was stupid, not going to amount to anything, her parents divorce(s) when she was age 4, living with her mom after divorce, siblings, step siblings, her 6 kids, death of an infant child, her marriage breaking up, her beloved mothers death recently and her mother being the only one she felt close to. It all just unfolded, with some laughter, some quiet, more tears, some laughter and I told her that her smile was beautiful, "M" hasn't heard that very much in her life... so I basically listened, I asked a few questions, I shared a little of what I thought was going on for her, she shared that she was tired of trying to hold it all together for everyone. I said I understood that... and it was perhaps time that she just stop.. that it was time for the brick masonry she had built around her heart to be dismantled. And I encouraged her to keep coming on Saturday's to the study, hear what was in Gods word that he wrote to her. And maybe just a brick at a time, but hopefully soon we'll be taking a sledge hammer to tear down all of the wall. She smiled. Although the uncomfortable emotions/tears that has been invading her daily life for a week, "M" didn't know where it was coming from, but it is just everyday, might be a lifetime of volcanic eruption that needs to happen to empty out some despair... ahhhh God is so good.

Tonight Thursday, "M" comes to alpha, smiling, and it is healing night for a topic. In small group there were only three women present, and I think it was the perfect three from our group. First "I" is prayed over for what she is in need of, and then "A" is prayed over, and all the while, "M" is right there participating by just being there. And than it's "M's " turn, although she doesn't know what exactly she needs, maybe not physical healing, but could be emotional, although I suspected it's the spiritual healing.. and "M" just expresses that she is so tired of fighting on her own, so I ask if she is ready to lay down the fight and let Jesus come in and take over the battle for her.. to be the only God. and at first "M" isn't sure how to do it, and so I just pulled my chair in close to her and said "you repeat after me"... and dang.. I'm not to good at that part of sealing the deal, but we got it done and she asked Jesus to come into her heart, be in control, forgive her sins and be her father... and guess what... "M" cried, but now it was tears of joy and in hope for freedom in Christ. ahhh God is good..

And this tight group of women, we rejoiced, and we hugged, and we bless each other because God has healed us all in mighty ways.

success and I feel GOOD~!

Okay so back pain abatement attempt #4 happened yesterday (have had 2 upper and 2 lower now) with this Pain Medicine Goup in Long Beach.. Dr. Medhat Mikhail is terrific and whom I have grown to love.. It's brought some much needed relief even if it's not a complete victory for eradication just yet.

Jan 30, 2009 I went in and had in the lower back (2) Pars injections after the stinging local was administered. Now having had the two upper injections in Oct/Nov at an outpatient surgery center in Los Alamitos with the beautiful "twilight" sedation cocktail served prior to the procedure, where your only aware that your in the room. That was tremendous way to go. But that was last year when I was maxed out of pocket and so 100% coverage by insurance for most of the year. This year, different story and so injections scheduled in the office. I was very apprehensive as the Jan 30th date approached, but it proved to be quite pleasant in that it was quick and with minor discomfort. Of course there are two concerns with the lower back disc herniations and slippage and a crack, and so when I got partial but overwhelming relief by the next day and the pain level went from a 12 to a 4.. I was ecstatic to say the least, and my friends said they could see the difference in my appearance.. (one, I was no longer in a pain drug induced stupor from side affects) and that I was walking much more briskly than before. The dr's last words before I left the room were, we will hope for 4-6 months of relief if we are lucky, but should know by tomorrow if it worked at all. Make an appt for two weeks.

At the two week appt Dr Irwin was surprised at how well I was feeling and the great response I had received.. we were both pleased and optimistic.. I was jinxed ... the next week at exactly 3 weeks it was back again to a lesser degree than before but it was back. The burning fire ball in the tail of spine and down into my left tush with intensity.. along with the separate pain running down the leg related to another area.... I was crushed and quickly reached for the pain meds to survive. It only hurts when you sit, stand in place or walk... so go figure the limitations of living sanely.,

A couple of weeks later decided that it was the same and so called in and got the next set of steroid facet injections he thought we'd be doing farther down the road rolling NOW. Or in other words as soon as the red tape with dr office staff and insurance and my calling back in twice to rattle there cage were completed. (I'm not passive)

So yesterday March 10th at 1:00 or wait they called and pushed it back to 1:40 pm. Once I got to the office on time at 1:30 cuz they will cancel you if you are 15 min late in arriving, but as in most dr's offices they have NO PROBLEM making you wait for an hour! The nerves were starting to get worked up in my stomach and when they said "yes three injections" I really began to wish I had gone to the baseball game with a friend as her carpool buddy to avoid this.. And I was RIGHT it was not a pleasant experience at all and the third needle stick was blocked in the joint or some nonsense and he was pushing and prodding and finally jammed the pressure packed stuff into place... OUCH ALREADY.. did I mention I get apprehensive and well, woozy at such nonsense.. so I got my clothes pulled back in order and proceeded to check out feeling okay...

Where my daughter got the ability to watch surgical procedures for fun is not from my DNA, flat out able to admit that and move on..

So I check out at the front desk started out feeling okay, until she had to ask the dr. if my month appt for this repeated procedure could be done in 3 weeks cuz of his vacation schedule.. while waiting for his response, I than sat down thinking...... that..... whew.... I didn't feel so good. But did I say anything NO.. I took my appt card for whatever date I agreed to just so I could get outside for some fresh air cuz it was getting hot.. I made it to my car, thankfully first parking spot, crawled in, turned it on, cranked up the A/C to MAX and than laid the chair back for oh... I don't know how long 5-10 minutes.. when I finally decided to sit up conciously, I tested my blood sugar which was high and not the problem, again thankful. So I just waited a few minutes and than got it together and drove home. yah yah I should have had someone drive me, but that someone(s) weren't available that day.

Today's report: other than some sore muscles like a hard gym workout where the injections were, I am feeling GREAT.. actually am pain free, say that again, pain free for the first time in many many many months.. woo hoo..

next appt March 27th to repeat these same injections: NOTE TO SELF, have a few strong drinks beforehand, and have a designated driver bring you there and wait to bring you home.. yep that's a good plan.

spring forward sanely...

Time is a impossible thing to capture.. and yet every year we spring forward and fall back and so in a sense, jerk time around.. While I do enjoy the extended daylight hours of spring and summer, why do we fall back after that, such a cruel season of the year for your mind. I have no scientific or history lessons to share about this subject, cause well, my time is more valuable and it would change nothing about it happening or not. But it's a mental thing to know that "tonight" your supposed to change all of your clocks backward or forward so you don't wake up total confused or walk into church earlier/later than your supposed to. Perhaps that is why it DOESN'T happen on a Sunday night into the morning of Monday... payroll concerns would just a logistal nightmare of call ins and whether you take comp time working later that day, or make it up another day, let alone if you showed up early...

Last night we completely forgot about the process and so I woke up at 4:00 a.m. to pee, cuz we actually went to bed at 8pm just out of sheer exhaustion from an endless amount of weeks on end of busyness and activity. I intended to read, but got about 12 pages read, and Greg's loud breathing pattern as he slept, just encouraged me to fall asleep.. and so I did. Shane was supposed to be at work at 5ish and so at 4am I trip downstairs to find his light was already on and he was up having remembered to change his own clock when he returned from poker playing the night before.

I am encouraged by my cell phone and another clock we have that updates by satelites.. need more of that to just make this time of year a smooth transition without thinking to much into it. Because I like both times of year for different reasons; fall back, gain hour of sleep that I can't seem to manage to do on my own very often (like last night) but yet you lose daylight and the day seems "done" earlier than the clock tells you. Spring forward, gain more daylight for being busy outdoors after being in the office all day, but yet you lose an hour of valuable sleep.. good grief, there's no making us totally happy. And than go to AZ for a weekend, they don't acknowledge Daylight Savings time, so ?? are we an hour ahead or behind when there?

And as I sit here this afternoon just chillin in my "day of rest", I think going to bed early actually is a good plan for feeling better.... now to work that into a routine of more occasions.

Birthdays galore around here

Ashley on her fifth birthday was, well, gifted with a new baby brother, the day before... she's not really warmed up to the fact that he was a gift when she speaks of that specific birthday.. But overall I think in time she warmed up to him! ha ha And she must truly admit that he would and has been a great blessing in her life. He is most accomodating that he will/does run any errand or trip up to her room repeatedly with a minimal amount of grumbling at the request of the sweet princess.

Today (Friday March 6th) Shane Gregory turns 19... and tomorrow (Saturday March 7th) Ashley Nicole turns 24.... wow, where has time gone since they first arrived, hollering and crying for food and dry diapers, smiling, rolling over, crawling, cutting teeth, pulling themselves proudly up against the furniture, than those first steps, which once they turned to a run they never slowed down.. quite frankly, it's gone quickly.

There has been more than a few times when I the mom have thought, "if I knew then what I know now" kind of reflections and hope that I would have done things somewhat differently for the betterment of relationship building.. There would have been a better balance of less "cleaning" "organizing" "chores" for this mom and way way way more time spent in playing board/table games, having conversations about life situations, biblical molding, and just sitting to read, watch a movie quiet time. But that regret being said, it sadly wasn't the real picture... some of this was done, but crammed into a tight schedule of school age responsibilities (x3), sporting events (x3), church commitments, there truthfully was not enough of the down time exacted into life.

But hopefully grace is on our side in how they will reflect on this when they are in therapy! And mercy for the mom and dad who lovingly did their best with the 3 kids under the age of 5 ~ whew!

Today is a day for just plain gratefulness in that we have reached this milestone place in the life of our family. The kids are all healthy, and being productive and thought provoking, God acknowledging, honoring young adults. They were never to be clones of us and so we are proud in that they are finding their way in life as adults. We raised them to be loving, caring, love and honor the Lord who is our savior, be independent, to become self sufficient, reliable and responsible citizens.

Ashley will soon graduate after 6 years of fulltime school with a BSN in Nursing and a minor in Psychology, she worked fulltime at Disneyland to pay for college, and has a signed contract to work for the Army after graduation for 3 years.

Shane is a freshmen 2nd semester at Rio Hondo Junior College where they have an alliance with the Rio Hondo Fire Academy. He is currently taking classes towards an AA in Fire Science. He will than apply for the Academy. He works at the Skylinks golf course since his summer before Senior year in High School. He's paying for his own college costs.

Brian who is 21 and celebrates his birthday on Nov 20th each year. (he shares his day with a Thanksgiving holiday usually). He chose not to take the route of further education after high school graduation, and has been working in the construction field since the day after graduation. He loves this profession and is determined to learn the trade, and is working within a company that allows him this opportunity and encourages his skills growth and in purchasing the necessary tools as he goes. He has been dating April Mason since Feb 2008.

Tonight we are going together for what has become the traditional birthday dinner out. Brian has no competition for his, but at this time of year they do rock paper scissors as to who gets there favorite restuarant. Shane won and picked Chili's (he's a creature of habit). Grandpa and Grandma Van Essen are joining us. Brian is in Pennsylvania this week with April and will be missed.

So happy birthday to our younguns!

Spring is in the air...diggin in the dirt time

So Saturday was a tad bit toasty warm, we had the windows and doors open enjoying the change. I met a friend for breakfast at 6:15am, and than we headed to the Orange County swap meet which neither of us had been to for along time. For me it was the only Saturday morning without a busy calendar schedule of committments and so I filled it. We walked the entire swap meet, noticing that it has changed quite a bit, in addition to socks, purses, silk plants, t-shirts, toys, you can now also purchase hookah party pipes, pre-certified used vehicles like BMW, Lexus, Mercedes in a hard top or convertible, or a 5th wheel RV toy hauler or a full size motorhome. I went there looking for a picture for the bathroom wall that is about 3 feet wide and less than 1.5 feet tall..roughly... and I found one I liked, but the guy wouldn't barter after giving me two different starting prices... so I walked away telling him I'd think about it and would come back later. Well, when I did go back later, he wasn't any more eager to deal and I wasn't budging either, so I said no thanks and we left.. In this economy he was pretty content to drive it back to Tarzana in his truck unsold, and I wasn't going to get screwed over.. The world is full of picture buying opportunities. I was so very tempted to get sarcastic and tell him that I didn't see anyone walking the swap meet with any pictures under there arm and that he should be glad for a sale, but held back just thinkin what a numskull he was.

I also found a guy selling trailer hitch covers that I had seen on other cars and had wanted, although they didn't have the smaller size I needed for my explorer. It is a local place here in Fullerton and so I will get it from them that way, but it is a pair of flip flop sandals! So while I came home empty handed (wallet full), it was a fun morning with a friend anyway.

When I got home just before noon, the house was quiet. Greg soon returned from the church workday in the city of Compton, he and Shane had worked together with a 1000 others.. he painted over his head all morning and so he was pretty tired. He ate a quick lunch and than he went with me to Armstrong Nursery and we picked up 10 plants, one big bush and a tomato plant. It was still warm when we got home and so he showered and took a long nap.. Sunday I had considered planting them, but I decided to read and take a nap... it was warm.

So today Monday of course the sky looks like it might rain when I get home from work at 3:30, decided no time like the present. In our front flower bed dead center of our porch we removed a large plant and it's surrounding stuff quite a while back and it was a huge bare spot, just waiting for attention. Now gardening is something I love to "do" but with ..the back pain is an incredible price to pay, and Shane is usually my "go to guy" but haven't got the logistics of his schedule and a purchase to line up. So back to the story of how I'm on my own. I hauled to the front all the tools, trash can, the plants and the potting soil bag. Did you know that our garage is about 175 feet from the front yard..... All the while the sky is dark n threatning and the wind is picking up.... I clean up and level the space and than proceed to plant the largest plant with big potential, that is now surrounded by daisy gerbers and several runniculus (spelling?). Of course just as I've got everything put away and rolling up the hose after hosing down the driveway and soaking the flowers... Greg drives in the driveway returning from whereever his day has taken him. To him this is perfect timing! So yes, I am feeling the pain of a tail on fire but an exhileration of mission accomplished.. now what next that Spring is in the air for more outdoor projects?

young teen parents, and Octomom

This is in response to two recent news stories concerning children born into the most heartbreaking of situations.

Most recently is a young boy of 13 and a young girl of 15 giving birth to a baby girl just this week. I believe the story is from the UK. Headlines splash about the 13 being a father. And he just thinks he's ready to be a dad, and that they can go back to school - huh... like what 7th grade for him and 9th grade for her? yes, he's ready to go back to skipping to school with his homework, but not to financially raise a child, let alone the emotional stability to raise one. Even at best, he'd be 17, 18 before he'd bring home enough wages to afford the little girl her food on a regular basis, let alone all the rest of what is involved in supporting a childs basic needs. Oh and than throw in that there is now a "case for DNA testing" from another potential 15 yr old father candidate.

While here in CA., the story of 33 yr old Octomom Nadya Suleman, who after having in seven years, 6 children from 4 pregnancies through IVF sperm donation has just recently given birth to 8 more children through IVF sperm donation. She claims the sperm was from one donor for all 14 kids but the father is not involved, nor does he want to be, but they talk once a year... WHY exactly? to find out "what's new with you" kind of questions. Nadya lives with her financially faltering parents in the 2nd small home in a year that is going into foreclosure proceedings. Nadya's mother has been her means of "childcare" while she pursued a college degree at CSUF in nothing other than Early Childhool Development. Octomoms TV, and internet interviews clearly state that she loves children and always wanted alot of them because she knew as an only child she missed out on something.... (wonderful). She has walked through the nursery at the hospital displaying her new infants like Vanna White after a letter was called out. But her next big dream would be to return to school in order to complete her MBA program that she had to step away from in the last year. WHEN WOULD she have time to work after she got a bigger fancier degree?! Do her precious children ever get her attention now that she has populated them into the world, or has the task been accomplished and now she will grow bored with it. But than again she is living off of school loans she said.. huh, aren't those for paying for your school and than you PAY THOSE BACK? Where's the extra money come from in that idea for raising kids, oh right, welfare, disability payments for her three handicapped children and her parents sweat equity to provide. I'm confused on her common sense and math skills... Her dad has already returned to Iraq where he is a construction consultant to support the family of grandchildren. Nadya's mother/the grandmother has made numerous comments in interviews that are telling as to her exhaustion level caring for the first six kids and that she "just wishes her daughter had become a kindergarten teacher".... that is a great idea, love the children and yet you send them home with their own parents at the end of the day.

So okay the details on this are just mind numbing as to the cost of birthing teams, NEO NICU caring for them for months, which apparantly is going to fall directly to us the tax payer. Uh have you heard about the CA governmental budget crisis we are in and the good tax payers are going to be pummelled to bail out the hemorraghing of similiar ocotomon mentality "do it and than we will figure it out later" of government spending. We already care for a slew of children that single mothers decided to have out of sexual encounters with the love of there lives, one night stands or relationships gone bad after the plus sign appeared in the window of the tube, but without the father being involved for one reason or another... Oi vey...

So I was reading Dr. Laura's blog today and a 15 year old girl wrote into her and so I've copied it below. It's refreshing to know that there are young teenagers who are being invested in with morality, good common sense, compassion, decency, for whom have at least the ability to see wrong when it is presented to them. And hopefully that they will abstain from behavior that can and might bring a circumstance they are not ready for.


A Thirteen Year Old Father February 23, 2009 on 12:00 am
In Parenting, Personal Responsibility, Pregnancy, Sexuality, Teens Email This Post

I’m turning my blog today over to a 15 year old, who wrote me the following:

Dear Dr. Laura:
Hi. My dad sent something to my email that frankly made me sick. A young 13 year boy is now the father of a baby girl that was just born last Monday. The fact that the parents of this young boy let him have a 15 year old girlfriend, and the fact that they support this, makes me angry.
This poor little girl is going to grow up with an extremely young mother, an even younger father, and is probably going to live in a broken home. These kids are not ready to be parents.
Fortunately, my parents are together and happy, and all my life I’ve been given examples of what a relationship should be. I’m 15, and will never make the mistake of getting pregnant before I’m married. I feel sorry for the mother and father of the baby, because they’ve been robbed of their childhood. They will never get the freedom now that I have.
I’ve listened to you for as long as I can remember, and I guess some of what you’ve been saying has sunk in. I was talking to my mom about the story and telling her how this baby needs to be given a good home with GROWN UP parents to take care of her. I couldn’t help thinking afterwards “WOW! That sounded like Dr. Laura!” Thank you so much for your preaching, teaching, and nagging that helps many little babies just like this one.
It makes me cry to think that this story probably won’t have a happy ending, and my heart goes out to that baby. Thank you so much for fighting for kids who can’t speak for themselves, and being a great role model.
Laura O.

it's late and I should be sleeping

Today was just absolutely busy as will be many days for some time to come... left this morning for work, met a friend for dinner and we rode together to a high school first round basketball game with two sons of friends of ours, and than home around 9:45.. so it has been a long day. Since I'm keyed up and can't sleep, I will empty some thoughts from my noggin.

It was an absolutely beautiful day with sunshine, a few clouds, and yet a bit warmer.. and clear enough to have mountains with snow cover looming in the distance. We've had a couple of weeks of rain and after a little over a week with 11 inches of rain, we are soggy and needed a day like this to let it sink in, because it has been pooling everywhere and overflowing. And flowers are blooming and it will now be a good time to plan for a weekend of some new plantings to go in the yard... If only there was time for it.

This morning listening to talk radio, the end of one program as they are wrapping it up they tell this story for which just puts into our faces the ridiculous nature of "frivilous lawsuits" rather than just having a judge shrug there shoulders and say "tough" and bang the gavel, case closed. They tell it this way; a man goes to a hockey game of some team named the Sabers. (??) and when they lose badly he heads to a local pub and drowns his sorrows of his beloved teams defeat until late into the evening. He than stumbles down into the subway, buys his ticket and than manages to end up down on the tracks with a train barreling straight for him. He's lying with his legs inside the tracks and his head on the outside clear of the path of the train. The train hits him amputating both legs. His blood alcohol level is .13 considerably over the limit for public drunkenness and considerably not in control of his ability to function and stay out of harms way. But the stunner is that he sued the transit district for negligence in that he claims it is the responsibility of the conductor to stop the train for objects in the track...

This is just unbelievable, but he is than awarded $2.3 million ~ he should have gotten nothing more than perhaps to cover his medical bills since it happened on subway property, but not a dime for his stupidity, recklessness, irresponsibilty. He should have had to pay for the EMT's that responded to the scene, the cost of cleanup to remove his limbs and haz mat matter, and than have paid a large fine for public drunkenness and reckless behavior. We have become a sad state of political correctness and have no one take personal responsibility for the mishaps that we place ourselves into or cause against others. It's always got to be someone elses fault.

It's kind of morbid humor, but one of the announcers as he's bringing their radio show to an end, says well I'm heading down to the liquor store to have a six pack and than going to check into the local metro train schedule because his family could use a little nest egg security from the court system.

scary start to commute..

pic to the right is view from our bedroom window of our backyard under water after rain stopped falling... and no that's not a pool but perhaps a natural location for one.

Okay, like my commute to work "doesn't" require getting on the freeway in order to get there, and sooooo why today in the snotty weather I felt the need to take this route is absurd. I almost paid a huge price for having made it and this is why... Whenever the rain started during the night, it poured for 6-7 hours, leaving our backyard resembling a pond, as well as the roadways.

If I get on the 91 freeway and head east, I basically exit at the third offramp past the busy interchange of another freeway that enters mine... so as I pass the the 605 interchange and it's basically just lightly raining, but the water spraying up from vehicles cast a foggy glare of water somewhat obliterating a clear view of distance. Now add to this equation that the breed of CA. drivers on the road can't slow down to account for road conditions that are more dangerous than a normal sunny Winter/Spring/Summer/Fall day they are accustomed to... Except for me of course!

As I come close to offramp #1 and I'm in the third lane from the left, I catch a glimpse in the fast lane of a car that seems stopped after hitting the car ahead of it and that of a car that has JUST apparantly slammed on their brakes, starts to spin (hydroplane) to the right, now hitting the car in the midst of the spinning motion that they were trying to avoid, and than they catapult across all lanes of the freeway and two car lengths in front of me going backwards......... They jump the curb and are basically caught by the trees in the gulley between the freeway and the Pioneer offramp, sending wood chips back onto the freeway and the car lands on it's tires at the bottom... with the whipped tree limbs now laying on top of it.. and than the sky just opens up and cats and dogs start raining down on this mess.. I pulled over along with the car in front of me parking on the shoulder even with the car in the gulley. The driver appeared to be moving and was using her phone...

I grabbed my phone and dial 911 to hear the unwelcome message that "all operators are currently busy, stay on the phone and your call will be answered in the order it was received" WHAT THE HECK ~ I pay taxes so that it's answered first time! After about what seemed like 8 minutes I hung up, cuz well, I've got other connections. I than call the Lakewood Sheriffs number I have in my phone contact list and tell the guy who answers that 911 isn't answering and where I am and what is needed.. he immediately tells me he will connect me with CHP.. after about a minute I am connected and give the details, 3 cars, no one is appearing hurt just that the car is still down in the gulley and the woman has yet to come out of it.. so while she doesn't appear to be hurt, can't be sure.. The mini cooper that parked behind me and the older gentleman who had traversed down the hill, was coming back up and said she appears okay. I tell him CHP is on it's way.. I thank the dispatcher, and hang up.. so a couple of folks who are now aware that there is a car down in the ditch who were involved and had pulled over way ahead of us, were walking towards my car, one of them on the phone and so I shared my information (through my open window where I remained dry) that help was on the way and the guy who was still waiting for the "911 answer from a busy operator" said that he was still waiting to connect.

I than turn off my hazard lights and change it to a left blinker so I can now merge into traffic and get moving along to the office I was once heading to. Now all of this could have easily have been avoided had a few simple safety steps been followed;

1. Don't start your car engine without turning on your lights to make yourself visible in the darker skies, water spraying road conditions. This is for those around you numskull so they can see you.


2. SLOW down immensly when it's raining or a storm has just recently dumped a ton of water out of the sky onto the driving surface...


3. SLOW down and give more space between you and the car in front of you, and don't floor it to make up for time when the road opens up.. conditions remain the same.

Tomorrow I will make my commute on the side roads.

some funny stuff..

I posted new pictures on my flickr account... just choose "sets" on the top line of the opening page..
http://www.flickr.com/photos/symens

the truth of the matter....

Having DIABETES just plain SUCKS! screwed up the afternoon with Ashley for sure..

sunny So Cal

Okay, this will be quick cuz I am going to run late and my ride will be here soon....

We've had about four days of good consistent rain showers and lest the CA population start to lose their natural tan and need to overrun Planet Beach for a touch up ~ the sun poked through today and it was clear/coool and just glorius! If I was to watch the news, I am sure they are on the one hand glad for the rain and on the other hand complaining about when it's going to end. They are such a fickle bunch, and so I don't miss this as a activitiy.... But let me just say that the mountains were just covered in snow all across the horizon and was so beautiful. Sorry no picture to back this up as I only saw it on my way to work. I don't know how much rain fell, but we had thunder and lightning to make it quite interesting.

But we are supposed to get another rain shower that will roll in again on Wednesday afternoon and so it is a good thing that a day of sunshine has been enjoyed for today. Well, just because alot of Californians are antsy with foul weather...

Bring on the rain, we need it and I LOVE IT..

Rainy day (finally)

Well, it's really not all that untrue as the song goes, that is "it never rains in California" and we suffer for this at times with a severe drought situation. Our rainy season is Nov-Mar and here it is February and we've had very little so far.. until.. today. We are in the start of a three storm pattern that is coming through, and today it's forecasted as 1 inch falling and tomorrow another inch in the second storm.. It's also just a nice change of pace for this part of the state that has trouble identifying with "seasons".. our weather is pretty stable for long periods of time, until it gets a little unsettled. But not often. Winter and spring seem confused and alternate back and forth for months.

Yesterday our temperature in a large portion of the region was clear and in the mid 80's, and today it's a chilly 55 degrees and very rainy..

And yes, I did wash my car... go figure

But nobody is complaining here.... bring on the rain and give us twenty days of it for a good start.

of nothing in particular

This blog will be of no major topic just what's going on around the Symens household. Today is a Wednesday and the down hill slope in a work week of which is a relief of many similar weekly occurances... at least for me.

Not much going on for me, just working this week and having Alpha on Thursday night. I attended a basketball game Tuesday at half time for the HS teams of son(s) of friend(s) against Brentwood HS where the son of Mark Sptiz was a player on that team.. Mark Spitz has graying hair and so had my friend not pointed him out, it would have gone past me. Now last week, they played against Montclair prep and the son of Denzel Washington was a player, now him I could recognize and he sat in the crowd cheering for his son quietly. I think only a couple of people approached him, I'm not the celebrity enamored variety.. it was interesting that they have the normal lives we do, but he still walked like the rest of us! That is a newsflash I'm sure to many, but not for those of us who take it in stride.

Greg has been in Las Vegas since Monday attending a yearly Concrete convention where many of his customers have displays. He is probably rolling towards home about now, hoping not to hit traffic. He says the long miles walking has his legs pretty sore but they have eaten at some good places. I have attended many of these in the past, where I enjoy a leisurely schedule during the day and than attending dinner gatherings with Greg. My schedule would consist of sleeping late, strolling the different venues of museums, shark exhibits, hotel architecture gazing sitting by the pool, reading, spa massages or a movie at the theatre within our hotel... but this year, some back pain made walking just not a "fun" option for getting around and so I stayed home. Next week he is gone to a Farm Show in Tulare and sooo that isn't one that I have ever considered attending in the rural setting of the Agriculture community.... but this event he has to man a booth for his company as they expose there services to the Ag world and talk and give away free goodies.

Meanwhile, this causes his missing two Tuesday nights of a Marriage Builders class we recently started, I've attended alone. So if he should come home at a reasonable hour tonight we will hit a makeup dvd viewing with the Wednesday night class and stay relatively caught up. God has prompted us to do some heavy lifting in our marriage currently and so this class has been a great instigator of getting to the root of some talking points. Praise Jesus.

Ashley came home from school this afternoon a bit under the weather again, thinking that her continuing strep throat episode is once again back. Might be time to be aggresive in heading this off with some hard questions to the Dr., as she has them quite often. Makes for her heavy school and study schedule to conflict with "resting" and so she gets very run down until giving into strong antibiotic treatments. Kind of a regular song and dance she has become accustomed to, but yet time to step off the dance floor for sure if another route to stopping it altogether. At least that is what mom thinks, but she will have to decide and make the follow through.

Brian's busy with the construction company; close to finishing up a large remodel project, moving along with another local remodel and than he will move onto the next project out in Irvine where he might sack at a relatives home to avoid the long commute in traffic each day.. but he'll see when that gets closer. He and April will be heading for a week to PA. to visit her sister.. The last time April visited in January, she has gotten the bug to move there, soooo I'm sure this is an "investigative" trip for Brian as well to understand how serious this might become. April just recently celebrated her 20th birithday.

Shane returned to colleges classes again this week after a loooooong break of about 2 months... having been off since early Dec. He's still in that rut of general ed classes and one fire science class a semester for now, but this week will begin a class on the Academy grounds each Friday for a 6 hour time frame and involves the physical aspects of training. He's excited, but mom dreads that his thick head of hair will now be cut off as it's been a nice change of pace for him from the forever short hair look! I know, silly thing to consider but he looks quite handsome with hair.. as he does with short hair, just somewhat younger.

till next time...

Friday she became a 2nd Lieutenant (reserves) Army Nursing Corp

So it's been about 9 days since she heard the definite news of receiving her Army commission and the excitement of it.. hence she celebrated by going skydiving with a friend on Sunday afterward in San Diego. She is now hooked!

It was Friday morning Jan. 30, 2009 at 8:30 a.m. that Ashley said her oath and signed on the dotted line to become for now a reserve in the Army Nursing Corp. here at our home. Her proud parents, two brothers, and grandparents Van Essen were here to witness. The Army Reps Sargent John Stoner (medic who served two terms in Iraq) he is the recruiter from the local area who she was in contact with at APU, and he handled the discussions and a meeting with her dad, the application process and the waiting to hear as to whether she got her commission. So he and Colonel Bruce Britson another recruiter arrived to administer the oath, which she wanted to say outdoors in front of our own flag (wasn't to great for pictures). At the end of Bruce Britson administering the oath to her, John Stoner than handed her a silver dollar which is a tradition in that you than give this silver dollar to the first person to salute you and so on when you salute another officer for their first time they will give you a silver dollar... Which he said at graduation, you can accumalate a pocket full of them. At this point Ashley outranked John Stoner. And than she signed about 50 pages of commitments and the directives to pay off her college loans with Colonel Britson signing them as well to make them official. And about an 1.5 hour later it was a done deal. This was basically to seal the deal with the Army. They have only a few months in the year that they accept the next years of skilled recruits and they advance in at the stage of an officer, foregoing the process an enlisted recruit would take. And it assures them you don't change your mind at the time you graduate. I have viedo but not to smart with uploading that yet.

Just after the oath was administered by her superior Colonel Britson

Colonel Britson, 2nd Lieutenant Symens and Sargent Stoner

The witness gallery L-R; grandpa, Brian, Shane, Grandma, Dad, Sargeant Stoner

I, Ashley Nicole Symens do hearby agree.....

With Colonel Britson's signature, it's official

The proud parents and their daughter who is now an Army Nurse

Grandpa, Ashley, Grandma with the newly acquired gift of Army coffee mug

Now she will continue with schooling, graduating on May 9th, and taking the NClex nursing boards test in the early summer. With the anticipation of passing first time, or the second if necessary. But than she will make sure that she has the rest of the summer off to travel. Her plan is seeing family in the midwest like grandparents long awaiting her chance to visit longer than one weekend in 6 years, vacationing at the river and is in a wedding at the end of July. after 6years of hard work and no breaks having worked at Disneyland every weekend, and full time during breaks in school schedule. She has had a great month since quitting of relaxing and studying. She's so much more at ease!

Sept/Oct is a group that will be "activated" for duty into the officers basic training at Fort Sam Houston in San Antonio, TX. for 9 weeks. Three days before the date she leaves there will be another commissioning ceremony which moves her from reserves to active duty. Officer Basic Training this has been described as "death by power point" to bring the officer up to speed on protocol, procedure etc and some physical training but nothing like an enlisted person. The perk of being a skilled officer. There will be 3 weeks of gun training and some haz mat training. But Britson said that overall it's pretty light stuff. And she will work in the hospital there during this same time.

This entire pay package that she will receive and paying off school loans up to $120,000. over the 3 years and that she is just going to step right into working in a hospital under the auspices of being an Army nurse is really a great one. If she signs on for another 2 year commitment they will pay for any master programs she is accepted into, take care of her moving expenses and that will be where she will be assigned to a hospital.. So it's really a career option that she can make to stay in or to than be in the reserves and become a civilian. With the economy and cutbacks.. for now she would regret not taking the opportunity. We are proud of her in pursuing this, and than when she had a ton of information, came to us with our perspective and insight.

John Stoner had just received word that he was accepted into PA school (physicians assistant) and will be transferring to Fort Sam Houston in Texas during August. He will finish here in CA at the end of June and than take a month off to transfer his wife and kids and to take time to go visit families. He will see Ashley when she arrives, and he will salute her!

Now she will learn to like "Green" as her wardrobe basic color!

Go Army!

A new Alpha begins..

Tonight was the start of a new 10 week session of Alpha at Emmanuel.. I am privileged to be a small group leader and see first hand the work of the Lord which brings people for so many various reasons to participate. It is unlike anything I having grown up in a traditional church had ever been a part of. And if it was going on, they were meeting in disguise in some special room with those who knew what they were doing. We on the other hand as small group leaders of Alpha, really, don't have any idea what WE are doing, BUT the holy spirit is just everywhere going before us, walking with us and directing where to go next and we are willing.... And he's bringing in the lost from places of trials, sadness, hardship, disgrace, simple lives, hard circumstances, life battles that wouldn't darken the door of a church doorstep on a given Sunday because they just don't feel they fit the mold of acceptable as they are or they've done alright on there own and don't need "God". And than there are some who have actually been in church for years, decades, and yet are empty. It's awesome. Because we are no different than them, we all need Jesus.

Last Thursday was a huge celebration of 10 years of Alpha at ERC. But let me back up, as the week before this on Thursday (two weeks ago) about 25 of us met at the brick building and broke bread (had pizza, salad, soda) and than we broke off into every office upstairs with cell phones and lists and lists of people to call. Roughly 700 people to call. Some had already RSVP'd that they were coming and so we just thanked them for the interest and hey bring a friend, some were recent visitors to ERC and we reached out an invite to the celebration (free dinner, concert, some testimonies and dessert) and hey bring a friend, and than if they were interested, we explained the 10 week Alpha starts the following week and bring a friend.. and some on the list were just plain cold calls and you do the same explaining what Alpha is about..

So the Thursday of the Alpha celebration party comes and 275 people from over 10 years, and some new folks show up and it was a great time of just welcoming, getting acquainted, extended a hello, inviting to the next session and or just hearing what God has been doing since they once attended. Celebrating what Alpha has meant for so many who that was a big door they stepped through from a life serving themselves, or the first time when they had ever heard of Jesus loving them... And for some, they hadn't been back to church since they last attended Alpha but the phonecall/postcard invite was what they needed and here they were... (not a coincidence)

The typical buffet alpha dinner was followed by a concert by Mike Eldred and his two daughters who I believe were Lindsey and Macklin.. sweet young ladies who banter well with there dad and who love the Lord and have beautiful voices. Mike & his wife came to ERC about 15 years ago as wild bikers and just came through alpha, were loved on by the Korver family, served at ERC and are now living in Arizona for last couple of years serving the Lord there. There were many testimonies of ordinary people who now follow Jesus because of an invite to Alpha, or are small group leaders who share the hope that rescued them. From this night, there were 147 interest cards for the next alpha!

Now the typical alpha session will vary in number, but roughly 35-50 is a good guess-timate of attenders but you just never know.. Tonight we were thinking that it was possible for the 147 to show up and had squeezed the tables/chairs for dinner up against the space for the group talk anticipating 110. The count was 79 attenders and 23 leaders. What an awesome night it was. The place was packed and hoppin!

I have been involved with Alpha for about 3.5 years and there are 3-10 week sessions a year. (I'm not really sure when I started) but now just lead a womens small group each time. After two years with my friend Susan as a co leader, she has taken a break during her sons senior year of baseball season but we continue to lead on Saturday mornings together a bible study.. So I am now with a woman I have known through the Valley school system and call a friend, Rene and we look forward to what's ahead.. She's never attended Alpha and has never led, so she's qualified and tonight went great. God is good.

So pray for each of those attending that they will have open hearts, open minds to what God has lead them to participate in that can greatly change the rest of their lives.

Isaiah 43: 18-19 "Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland.

crazy day at the office

Today was a manic day at the office... and working with some numnutz is frazzling... While I fall into the trickle down of information on where zipcodes flow in buildings for the "bigs or smalls" for ground and air of a package in transit. Whether it is good or bad information, I than run with it.. I have to implement it into training materials (of paper handouts and for posting for loadside and sort employees and than transfer it to the computerized training and test) within anyone of the district UPS buildings in So Cal. So Cal consists of Hubs in Cerritos (two shifts), Anaheim, Laguna, San Diego, San Marcos, Chula Vista and one airport Long Beach. So it is a encompassing job and it is forever changing.. but I can control the number of misloads with transferring BAD information if I find it to be bad but I ususally catch it and than call someone to the carpet!

Ideally having two weeks notice to work out the bugs and get a plan to the employees before it goes into play.. So what usually happens with that is that you work it all out, it either changes or they decide "not" to do it at all...

But as it happens quite often, the best laid plans and intentions of an IE Planner need to be adjusted on the spur of the moment and the plan sticks and all is well. And than there are times like Monday when an IE Planner throws out a "huge" realignment in the Laguna building to start Wednesday, and which is emailed to me at 1:oo a.m.on Tuesday. And so when I come in on Tuesday quickly start the process and I must say complete it in one day of pushing it hard.. And than I come in the office on Wednesday and read the email that comes in the early a.m. saying "we've put the plan on hold" and can you get the computer testing "back on line for the previous plan by tonight".. aahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! The paper part is easy, just go back to the previous excel file and we're good to go, but the computer is tedious. So I spent the better part of today tediously reworking the computer program. Late this afternoon get two separate phone calls from one of the operators Eric in the Laguna building who at one time worked in Cerritos alongside of me and I for him and we get along. (cuz I have no management credentials, just the power) And he mentions a couple of lineup changes that have been made in the past and yet when I get skipped in the loop, nothing transfers to the computer testing and so it brought him to ask. So we straightened that out and tomorrow I will again work his testing computer program to get things in the right working order.

So after he thanks for for the help and for quickly getting them back in good materials, I mention to him that with the "axe" coming down on heads indescriminately that I might need his backup.. he affirms me by saying he knows many managers who would go to the mat for me ... ha ha ha

This similar occurance came up in the Cerritos building last week of coming across by accident some lineup changes made and yet no official "grapevine" notification, and so for the time being I earn my living by "catching" the gaps and guffaws made in plans that do or don't work..

It's hard to make a living in this economy and so I will just bite my tongue (sometimes harder than others) and just keeping seesawing with the times and... collect my paycheck!

There is no denying it in writing....

Tonight after a long day of work and attending a marriage builders class with some friends at church, finally arrived at home to open the mail. A letter from Aetna was in the pile and so opened it with an anxious wondering..... About the fourth paragraph down it gets to the point that they were upholding there previous finding of a denial of the appeal. They acknowledged all of the findings that were included, and case studies, but the gist of it being that my insurance policy does not cover anything experiemental. There was about 1.5 pages of niceties about further appeals possible within a 60 day period.. But denied none-the-less.

At this time, I will be waiting to make that decision as to whether to end the process or to advance on with it. Twice denied using the same information, and the patient not being of any concern due to the fact that FDA does not give approval for the procedure specific only to the ankle which is my case in point and until than insurance will have no reason to acquiesce. It has certainly been a frustrating 2.5 years dealing with it, and I not sure what I'm feeling on the thought of continuing with it. Is this in the denials, the Lords answer to the prayers of doing what is right???

And than a surprising bit about "a survey to let them know" how the process went, so that they can be improving it.. hmmm, not so sure now would be a good time to answer that question.

step one accomplished ~

Ashley at the beginning of Fall I believe it was, started to look into and contemplate after a couple of Army nursing recruiters visited the APU campus the possibility of taking this route after graduation. So many discussions, reading up on it, Greg went to the last meeting with the recruiter. Now before they left for this meeting, they worked out what questions needed to be asked, how to ask them, why you ask them, and that Ashley was going to do all the talking because well, this is about her life. Greg had numerous "money" questions that he was sure he wanted answered to assure the payback of student loans..... The three of us went out to dinner that night to fill mom in on the details while fresh in there minds, to discuss what they heard and what they still needed clarity about. So I said "what are the pros' n cons'?" and in the excitement between the two of them the list seemed to go on and on for the pro's... she goes in as an officer not having to go through regular bootcamp, but instead 6 weeks in San Antonio Texas at Sam Houston hospital, and training is essentially death by powerpoint and 3 weeks of gun training, she will receive excellent training in top notch facilities and would be better than a civilian hospital committment of employment. She looks forward to travel around the country during the training period, Her Ob/Gyn training is definitely in HI for four months and so that is a good gig when that occurs. The chance for travel after training and she's given her assignment, if she gets any of her top ten destinations for assignment-top 3 are Germany, Italy, and Hawaii. And the biggee is that for the 3 year committment, she will receive $120,000 towards a student loan which she has already gotten completed in her name. And if she makes an additional 2 year committment, they will pay for you to get your Masters Degree, moving her wherever she gets accepted to a school, they pay your moving costs and she than becomes assigned to a hospital in that area because you will take two years to get your master degree completed.. And so about a half hour later when she took a breath, I asked "are there any cons'?" and I looked at Greg and asked "she didn't sign on the dotted line already did she?" and Ashley laughed and said "he wouldn't let me yet"... The only real cons were "leaving family, friends, missing normal activities in life". She is pretty sure that she would regret not taking advantage of the opportunity. So we agreed that it was a very wise decision and much to consider and think about and pray about. No real pit in the stomach from mom, just the overwhelming emotion of missing her.....

Ashley sent in all of the application requirements for a commision in the U.S. Army in the Nursing Corp. in mid November 2008. They originally gave her a date of Mid December when she would hear the answer.. But there was a delay, and on she was told that Jan. 7 her paperwork would go to the review board and would hear within two weeks. So Jan 22 she was notified from her recruiter liason, that she is now officially a Second Lieutenant in the U.S. Army Nursing Corp. :) So one day very soon, she will be first commisioned into the Reserves with a signing on the dotted line and taking an oath. And than she will finish the last semester with graduation on May 9th. She will than be required to pass the NCLEX boards sometime during June, July or August when they are administered. Upon passing that is what will set in motion the date of her departure.. Approx Sept/Oct is the guesstimation right now..

She is the maid of honor in a friends wedding on July 24 and so that is one thing she will need to make sure is not affected by a departure date. She is going to go out to Minnesota for a week after graduation to grandpa/grandma's since it has been awhile since a trip like that.

So time is short and it will forever change the lives here at the Symens household. One we are proud of Ashley, and are ready for her to move into the next phase of life with excitement. This weekend she is planning to go skydiving, yep, the adventurer begins.

today marks the 26th married year....

Today January 21st is our 26th wedding anniversary (1983).... wow, the time has gone by pretty quickly, when if I could remember what I might have been thinking it would be like at the start of life on the verge of matrimony - I was clueless. And it's been filled with alot of memories of great, good, loving, traditional, meaningful, shared, blessed, joyful, maturing, exciting, surprising, secure, safe, growing, meaningful, relaxing, loving oh I used that one already.... it has also been stressful, trying, hard, sad, sorrowful, reflective, maturing and more than a few struggles along the way. So I think that sums up what is all part and parcel of being married regardless of who you are. But it is telling as to how you survive marriage with the necessary and appropriate skills to walk through each of these emotions together rather than separately. That is the tricky part, because without good role modeled mentors towards being mature this can be the dicey part...

We can admit that we had quite a rollercoaster along the way and sometimes, screaming for the ride operator to stop the thing so we could get off! As you can tell, cooler heads prevailed and we kept it together. Not knowing what we were doing other than most of the time just walking away from the situations as they came up. mmm, the best we could do at the time to survive, but not really healthy. In the midst of life we were blessed with 3 kids in five years, and they are a treasure. Ashley (23), Brian (21) Shane (18)

I will admit that much of our early to middle year struggles stemmed from poor communication skills (by both) to share the depth of some things. I was struggling with the torment from anger of lifes events, guilt of poor choices as a youth, lack of confidence. By the grace of God, there finally came a time that I finally gave in to the healing that had been in front of me many times that I had refused often. And yet it was so needed to be healthy on many levels of emotional and spiritually and relational. But I refused by my stubborness to walk the hard road because I feared the "maybe" that honesty might bring by admitting them outloud. And yet when the dam finally broke on May 17 & 18 of 2006, freedom finally reigned in my heart, in my mind, my soul and in our marriage. Who knew....... I had a day of just reconciling with my God in the sand of Sunset Beach in a beach chair, with a bible, and alot of prayer, tears and confession. I felt that when I had left that beach that I had surrendered to his will, laying down my will and looking for a fresh start.. alas, I actually held onto a little bitty part of what I didn't want to give up and God wasn't having any part of that..... he had already started working it on Gregs part, by having me leave up an email correspondence with a girlfriend on the computer screen where we were chatting back and forth as she struggled with some life issues... It was somewhat revealing and yet not what it appeared to his "read between the lines" ... I was an alpha small group leader and so on the 18th I headed off and yet had a pit in the stomach told me that something wasn't right and I needed to go home. A good friend who has walked this healing with me, prayed over me and home I went. Only to find that Greg was out walking the street-thinking, and so I found him. We sat in the car at the corner for about 3 hours.... having the most honest, truthful, revealing conversation of our lives, that included tears, smiles, hiccups, forgiveness for each, grace for each and a committment to the new us. The most unimaginable thing occurred, Freedom, love like never before, compassion, friendship and we haven't looked back, only toward how to love each other each day. It's been the best of 2yrs 8 months of our marriage.. God is so good

Greg approved this blogs content..

WAIT A MINUTE it's not decided!!!!

Regardless of what the clinical supervisor on the phone from Aetna told my "spy" on Friday... I received a letter today from Aetna acknowledging that they on Jan 09, received the packet for appeal, and the letter was dated Jan 12 and it stated 15-30 days for notification.. So until I get the actual denial letter, there's a shred of hope for a positive decision.

But, should it actually be a 2nd real 2nd denial, I will most likely hold off any further action toward the surgery. I have been praying earnestly for "an answer" and perhaps two denials could be the answer and I'm missing it.. So that is what I am considering and will need to take some time before the one last appeal with employer that is still the last best hope.... but for now, still praying that the God I trust will bring peace in this.

thanks for listening and praying ya'll.

speed of sound appeal response ~

I'm not necesarily meaning that this appeal process for the major ankle surgery that is needed to remove the lesion has gone by quickly, cuz, well... it hasn't.. but during this 2nd appeal to the mercy of my insurance company for compensation coverage that started right after Thanksgiving, I had really just not given any worry to it, did some praying on it though for sure.

I received this Monday my copy from the surgeon of the letter that was sent to Aetna as the cover introduction. After reading it through, I felt that he covered many good points about the prospective surgery success by himself, success in Europe, my state of the ankle without it and future issues that might occur. I did not receive the 1.5 inches of dull reading on statistics, procedure, and Medical Journal reports, but thought that it would give them at the appeal board much to consider. My surgeon went on two weeks vacation in December and so I think that the finishing touches were not completed until after the new year to the cover letter. So anyway........ if you remember, I have a medical office "spy" who as soon as I asked her, went into the mode of inside operative today during her lunch hour, contacting Aetna and getting the low down on the details of all that they knew and what they would be willing to give out. The last appeal she learned many interesting points of moving through the system for answers. She is good, cuz I received my answer HOT OFF THE PRESSES before the letter was even drafted to be sent to the patient and the doctors office.

Aetna appeal board received the appeal letter on Thursday Jan 15th and the originial denial was upheld on Jan 16th by Dr. Barry Smith.. That is what I meant by "speed of sound" response - it's like WHAT, did you even read beyond my name and assigning a log number of eight digits to it before they stamped "denied again" on it. So the phone guy Scott Clowder, clinical supervisor who had to deliver the bad news to my "spy" gave her some tips for what option I have left. My employer UPS is actually the "owner" of the insurance plan and so I can consider making the appeal through my HR at the Corporate HQ in Atlanta where they meet weekly in a committee that considers medical appeals.. He said sometimes this is a viable option.

Right now, I will just consider the option and what to do next AFTER the weekend. Today was not a good day before I got this news and so I have not had a full meltdown yet, nor do I suspect that it would help......

144,000 flee the state.......

Today it was reported that 144,000 people fled the state of California in 2008 and the dream many spent most of there lives chasing after is grittier or a fleeting memory. Now in a state of 38 million that isn't a huge number, but it's the why they left, as to the where it will continue to spiral for some time to come...

* 8.4% unemployment rate in November.

* 236,000 projected foreclosures.

* last month a 100,000 jobs were lost in the state, one cause is 2000 public works jobs cancelled because the state couldn't afford $16 million towards them. And yet "arnold" says we need to build more schools, roads, and transit.. (see tax increases coming)

* California facing over 18 months a $41.6 billion dollar budget hole that is predicting raising taxes, cuts in education and postponed tax rebates. No fiscal responsibility by lawmakers who have more than enough money to cover what is required, but they waste more than they take it.. it's not a surprise that we can all understand what the legislature can't comprehend, that's no way to run a budget. somebody has to do without and they always pick education, highways, and public safety. these become buzz words for why they need to raise taxes.. The Constitution was written with government providing these things as first and foremost.

* the median price of a home has nose-dived one third from the 2006 peak. Most median priced homes are out of reach for the middle class. Many children can't consider buying a home in the community they grew up in.

* The housing market eliminated $1 trillion in wealth.

* dead end public schools.

* unchecked illegal immigrations.

* clogged traffic has robbed CA. of its allure.

An interviewer was speaking with an 38 yr old engineer who is seeing his wages go down and his cost of living going up, is moving to Denver Colorado and has a house purchase in the works. He's selling his 3 bdrm home in Nipomo about 80 miles north of coastal Santa Barbara where his yearly property taxes will go from $4300 to $1300. A substantial beginning to downsizing the family budget.

We know alot of people who over the last few years who have picked up and moved to some different states of Colorado, Idaho, Oregon in order to be able to one get out of the concrete jungle where they have family and friends, but yet the ability to "breathe" while living has been realized. For some they have lured some of there family and friends to join them in the adventure and so that does make it easier. Some of us are thinking that's an alternative we'd keep open, but for now can't make the leap and are glad we bought our homes alooooong time ago and are still "breathing" here in CA while we make a living and a life. But for many we know who are in the struggle that has them trying to hang on while having to make some hard changes to lifestyle or location possibly to start over we keep praying for good resolutions whatever way it needs to work out.

I remember decades ago when many Califonians moved to Oregon and boy was there a ground swell of anger from the invasion. The Californians were mistrusted and ridiculed for the move. There was no welcome committee dropping by with a basket of goodies and a handshake.. Well, get ready here it goes again...

Your Biblical obligation to (the soon to be President) Barack Obama

I read a lot of blogs and I came across this one today, and although it was written soon after the election was held, with the inauguration just around the corner, it is something to ponder. We will reveal ourselves in how we handle and/or how we behave in many aspects under a leadership who we might or might not agree with. But the Lord knew this would be the outcome and it is going to happen, what are we going to do to bring glory to the heavenly Father in our individual actions, but that it wouldn't bring him shame.

happy reading and reflecting;

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Your Biblical Obligations to (the soon to be President) Barack Obama
Written by Erick Cobb
Wednesday, 05 November 2008

I think it is really important for our mission here and for our own spiritual growth that we respond biblically to the election of Barack Obama as president.

The two of you that voted for Obama won't need this, but for the rest of you: please prayerfully consider your biblical obligations to Barack Obama when he takes over the presidency.

1.) Submit to President Barack Obama as God's Sovereign Choice for Our Country
* Let every person be subject to the governing authorities. For there is no authority except from God, and those that exist have been instituted by God. Therefore whoever resists the authorities resists what God has appointed, and those who resist will incur judgment. For rulers are not a terror to good conduct, but to bad. Would you have no fear of the one who is in authority? Then do what is good, and you will receive his approval, for he is God's servant for your good. But if you do wrong, be afraid, for he does not bear the sword in vain. For he is the servant of God, an avenger who carries out God's wrath on the wrongdoer. Therefore one must be in subjection, not only to avoid God's wrath but also for the sake of conscience. For because of this you also pay taxes, for the authorities are ministers of God, attending to this very thing. Pay to all what is owed to them: taxes to whom taxes are owed, revenue to whom revenue is owed, respect to whom respect is owed, honor to whom honor is owed. Romans 13:1-7

* Be subject for the Lord's sake to every human institution, whether it be to the emperor as supreme, or to governors as sent by him to punish those who do evil and to praise those who do good. I Peter 2:13-14

We are to submit to the leaders God has put over us unless submitting to them we cause us to sin against God (Acts 4:19-20). This command is actually much easier for us to do than it was for the believers it was first written to. Their emperor was Nero, who liked to light Christians on fire and feed them to wild animals and yet they were called to submit to him. Surely, out of love for our God, we can joyfully submit to Barack Obama as our president. God has not given us a command that is too difficult here (I John 5:3).

2.) Respect President Barack Obama

* Honor everyone. Love the brotherhood. Fear God. Honor the emperor. I Peter 2:17
We are to respect Barack Obama. During the Clinton years it was far too common for Christians to disparage their president through bumper stickers, t-shirts, and the comments they made. If that is your impulse, please grow up. God commands us to show honor to our leaders. It is unacceptable for Christians to speak disrespectfully of their president. You can (and should) speak out against his policies, you can even get involved in four years to remove him, but while he is president you must speak respectfully of him.
Once again the emperor Peter was talking about here was Nero, who by the way was not an elected figure, they had no say in who the emperor was. In obedience to God, watch how you talk about our president.

3.) Pray for Barack Obama Daily

* First of all, then, I urge that supplications, prayers, intercessions, and thanksgivings be made for all people, for kings and all who are in high positions, that we may lead a peaceful and quiet life, godly and dignified in every way. This is good, and it is pleasing in the sight of God our Savior, who desires all people to be saved and to come to the knowledge of the truth. I Timothy 2:1-4

If you have never been in the habit of praying daily for the president, this would be an excellent time to start. President Obama has a lot of challenges ahead of him. Pray for him everyday.

Pray that God would reveal himself to him, bless him, give him wisdom, and keep him safe. We are teaching our boys to do this every day.

It is interesting that when Daniel found out that judgment was going to come upon Nebuchadnezzar (Daniel 4:19) he was visible shaken and declare that he wished it would happen to the king's enemies instead. And Nebuchadnezzar wasn't really the king you would want, now was he? - trying to BBQ Daniel's friends and all. And yet Daniel cared about him and wanted him to be blessed, not judged. You can have that same spirit towards Barack Obama as you pray that God would reveal himself to him, bless him, give him wisdom, and keep him safe.

For the next few days as you talk with believers and unbelievers about the outcome of this election you have an opportunity to be refreshingly biblical - and truly counter-cultural. Let's show the world (and other believers) that Christians are not a bunch of cry babies and sore losers who put all their hopes in having political power. Whining, fear, and bitterness are not fitting for us who believe God is up to something in all that he ordains. Let's show the world (and other Christians) that we have a happy trust in God's sovereignty. Let's show them that we are prepared to joyfully submitting to, respect, and pray for Barack Obama, out of a deep trust in and love for our God. Or.....you can do just what the culture expects you to.

Keep in mind our cause, the spread of the Gospel of the Kingdom of God, does not depend on having political power. In fact, our cause has most often thrived when it had no such advantages! The Kingdom is breaking in even now, the fullness of it will soon appear!