Late Thursday night

Wow, it has been a looooong day, and yet, here I sit with History channels "cities of the underworld" on and I've catching bits and pieces of it with tired eyes... Even though I get up at 5:30 to walk with a friend, my mind refuses to give up at the late hour of 11pm either, while my body should have revolted and walked upstairs anyway!

Tonight was the celebration dinner for Alpha, which is the wrap up of the 10 weeks of the session. It's been for me as a small group leader, really a rollercoaster of an emotional time. And yet tonight, an older woman asked me to forgive her for some tough conversations on the phone when I'd call her, where she had been less than kind, less than receptive to getting together as we had agreed and just really like leave me alone. She admitted to being downright mean, and that her grandson had been over when I called and he overheard her, and asked her what was going on. So J.P. counseled her, and so tonight she was absolutely warm, sincere and apologetic - and about the time she was finished talking, I just reached over and HUGGED her long and hard, and said that I forgive you.. and I truly care about you. Our last phone conversation just this week, and I can only best describe as an ICE COLD BATH dumped over my head and it stung... Now I had believed in a conversation weeks before had asked me to walk her through the steps of learning more about love of God with encouragement, listening to the questions and seek the direction and as a sounding board. I was bummed, sorry that I had caused her to feel that she was just not going to come back to church, or to saturday study group... and thankfully I was able to restrain my comments (rolling in my head to unleash) and encourage her to continue walking forward, to not isolate herself from getting together with others who would fellowship in the same learning from God's word and each other. So I found some counsel from two friends, and just didn't make many moves one way or the other, but wasn't quite ready to give up altogether. So tonight, I was relieved that the door is still open and we will see where it goes from here, I told her not to be feeling that anything of me is required but that if she wants me to, I am still willing completely.. She just said "I love you (with tears in her eyes) and thank you" and hugged me.. God is good.